Devotional: Reservation for 1? Third Wheel?
One of the toughest things about being a LEO wife is that our husbands typically do not have weekends off (or even evenings!), which can lead to feelings of isolation or loneliness. It makes sense for those who are off on weekends to throw get-togethers or plan to go out to eat with friends, but it can be hard on LEO wives to be there alone amongst friends and their spouses. I want to start this post by looking at what the Bible says about loneliness.
From the very beginning, God knew it was not good for man to be alone.
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” –Genesis 2:18
In Stasi Eldredge’s book, Becoming Myself: Embracing God’s Dream For You, she spoke about how God created Eve to be Adam’s “ezer” – in Hebrew, this means his “lifesaver” or “counterpart” – the one whom he cannot live and flourish without. Side note: I highly recommend her book!
As LEO wives, we help our husbands each day. We try to make sure they have everything they need for their shift, we pray for their safety, we prepare meals, take care of chores, watch the kids, and more. We are fit for our spouses and they are fit for us. Because of this, it is easy to sometimes feel isolated or alone because our husbands are not home when we are or we are not able to spend their days off together. I feel like every time my husband has time off, we spend it running around town doing this and that errand. It can be hard to find time to do enjoyable things together as a couple. I want to challenge you to talk to your spouse if you feel isolated, and discuss a way to find time to do something you both enjoy. It could be a nice meal out or taking a day to explore something new in your state or city. My husband and I wake up at different times, and I used to get irritated because when he woke up he would head to the gym for about two hours. Finally, I decided I should go with him! It has been the best thing because, while we do separate things at the gym, we are both there at the same time and can talk on the drive to and from the gym.
The second thing I want to address is that we are never alone because we have a God who loves us and wants us to live fully. Satan will whisper to us that we are alone, but we are passionately loved by the God of the universe! All we have to do is open the door and let Him in!
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in.” –Revelation 3:20
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthn you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” –Isaiah 41:10
Third, it is important to still accept invitations out on weekends and/or evenings your spouse works. We are built for relationships. C.S. Lewis said, “The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.” To avoid feeling isolated and alone, we need to spend time with our friends! Friends always delight in one another’s successes and blessings and want what is best for us. I challenge you to tell one of your good friends to hold you accountable to going out. My husband and I have been blessed by two of my friends’ families in that they always make sure to include us for special things (because our families are not in the same state as us) and they do not want us to be alone. Sometimes my husband is working and sometimes he isn’t – but the point is that I still GO. Do I hate sitting at a table with other couples and not having my spouse? Yes. But do I ever regret going? Nope! Because it is good to get out and still enjoy the company of others, even when my spouse cannot. Stay in relationships with your friends, build bonds with other police wives who understand how you feel, join a book club, a small group, anything! It helps! I promise!
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” –Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” –Matthew 18:20